Today, two of my husband's friends came to our house. These friends were my husband's colleagues when he joined the company after graduating. They are a group of three. Now we all work in different places, but we've always been good friends. One of them is really good friends, and on his days off (Saturday is a free day for my husband because I'm not at work), we would have breakfast in the morning or go to the slots together. I remember that he came home with a happy look on his face the day we hung out. That best friend brought his wife and children with him. After chatting a little at home, we went to Kura Sushi for lunch, a place that my husband and I have been to many times. My friend told me that when she hung out with my husband, she went to sushi or yakiniku. We ate a lot, went shopping at the supermarket, and then went back to the house to relax for a while. I asked him to go up to the second floor and look at my husband's computer room and the closet in the bedroom (where his clothes are hanging). …I’m sure my husband was there too.

I think he told me not to look.

My husband never told his friends about his condition while he was battling the disease…

(Because he was so determined to get better)

Just before he left, he had been messaging his best friend on LINE talking about slots and saying, “Let’s play again.”

He said that even now, he sometimes thinks he might suddenly get a LINE message.

I showed my friend a photo of me and my husband smiling when we were in the palliative care ward.

When I saw it for the first time in a while, I suddenly started crying.

It was so sudden that I was really worried.

Ah…

Why did he disappear?

Why did it have to be my husband?

This feeling will never go away, so I’m sure it will repeat itself forever.

“I can’t replace you, but if you have any problems, please let me know.”

That’s what he said.

My husband, I never thought I’d spend time with your friends like this.

I'm your friend, and I'm the only one.

I want you to be by my side. I'm lonely.

But you know, you were worried about me...

I'm so grateful that you used your precious time off.

You left around 4pm.

After that, I cut the overgrown plants in front of the entrance, which I've always wanted to do.

I watered them and felt refreshed.

Oh! A gift from my husband arrived.

This month, it's Sendai's specialty, "thick-sliced ​​beef tongue."

I'll eat it with my husband on the monthly anniversary of his death next month.